| Much of my coaching is spent helping people in | | | | She had made the choice to leave a comfortable, if |
| transition make decisions regarding the next phase of | | | | somewhat stifling, world behind her, to set sail for a |
| their lives. Some of them are looking for their next | | | | distant shore that she could only see in her heart; and |
| professional path. Some are trying to figure out | | | | for her that was very frightening. |
| relationship issues, and others are wondering if they | | | | Anne found being betwixt and between extremely |
| really could achieve a long-held dream. | | | | uncomfortable and very anxiety producing. She began |
| The decisions that my clients make around these | | | | to question her ability to succeed, her commitment to |
| issues are obviously important ones, yet making | | | | her dream, and her overall desire to start a graphics |
| decisions in the middle of a life transition can | | | | business. |
| sometimes be a little complicated. | | | | Although she was being encouraged to stay the |
| Setting Sail | | | | course by me, as well as by many friends, she also |
| I compare going through a life transition to setting sail | | | | was being pressured by other friends and family |
| on a foggy sea. As you begin your transition, you can | | | | members to return to the security of the corporate |
| still see the shoreline. At this point, you may not even | | | | world. In the end she made the decision to go back to |
| realize you are in a transition. You are very excited | | | | her old job. |
| about the possibilities of changing a part of your life; | | | | The Timing of Decisions |
| and you can hardly wait to set sail and explore the | | | | Whether this decision was the right one or not isn't |
| distant shores. | | | | really important. What is important is the timing of |
| Yet, as you sail further out to sea, or further into your | | | | Anne's decision. She chose to go back to her old job |
| transition, you lose sight of the familiar shoreline. The | | | | when she was feeling the most scared and vulnerable. |
| fog begins to settle in around you. You can't make out | | | | And ironically, it is at this very point, when we are at |
| where you are going, and you can no longer see | | | | our lowest, that we need to put our full trust in the |
| where you came from. | | | | transition process. |
| This feeling of drifting at sea with no port in sight can | | | | We need to believe that if we keep ourselves open to |
| be very unnerving for many of us. We live in a culture | | | | the experience, and if we continue to move slowly |
| that wants fast and definitive answers to our | | | | towards our goal, we will eventually sail out of the fog |
| questions. We want quick solutions to our problems. | | | | and find ourselves in a new and wonderful place. |
| And we want fast and easy ways out of the fog of | | | | But this is a hard leap of faith for some people to |
| transition. | | | | make. Anne's decision was not really about her life |
| The Discomfort of Uncertainty | | | | plan. It was about relieving the discomfort she felt at |
| So, when we find ourselves in the middle of this kind of | | | | that time. She was trading in her long-held dream for |
| uncertainty, it can be very easy to give in to the | | | | instant relief from a transitory uneasiness. |
| discomfort of not knowing exactly where we are | | | | Staying one's course in the midst of confusion and |
| going or what we need to do next. We hear critical | | | | doubt can be extremely difficult, but there are things |
| voices telling us that we have made a mistake, or that | | | | that one can do to successfully navigate any transition. |
| we don't really have what it takes to find our way | | | | Tips for Successful Transitions |
| through the fog. | | | | First, before you set sail make sure that you have a |
| We begin to feel anxious and notice that our resolve | | | | strong support network in place. This network can |
| to making the change is slowly slipping away. It is at | | | | consist of friends, colleagues, a spouse, a mentor, or a |
| this point when it can be easy to decide to quit the | | | | coach. Just make sure that they understand what you |
| journey and return to the comfort of our old and | | | | want and that they are willing and able to truly support |
| familiar shoreline. | | | | you in your journey. |
| But if we let the voices of fear and doubt override the | | | | Second, familiarize yourself with the process of |
| voices coming from our heart, we are apt to make | | | | transition. The more you know what to expect, the |
| decisions about our future that may not serve us well | | | | better able you will be to withstand the times of |
| in the long run. | | | | uncertainty. Two of my favorite books on transition |
| One of my clients, Anne, had always had an interest in | | | | are: "The Way of Transition" by William Bridges and |
| graphic design. She recently had left her corporate job | | | | "Silver Linings" by Melissa Gayle West. |
| to pursue her life-long dream of starting her own | | | | Third, remember that slow and steady wins the race. |
| graphics business. | | | | Listen to the voice in your heart, not the gremlins in |
| In the beginning she was very motivated. She talked to | | | | your head. Use your support system when you start |
| people, gathered information, and started planning what | | | | to waver. |
| she needed to do. Yet, as time went by and she | | | | And finally, always keep your dream in front of you as |
| found herself running into little snags, she began to | | | | a constant beacon guiding you through the fog. |
| question her initial decision. | | | | |