| Many people intuitively know when their marriage is | | | | have gone silent today. Of course, it is unrealistic to |
| really in deep trouble. Sure, some will try to tell | | | | think that you can burn up the phone lines in the way |
| themselves that they've just "grown comfortable," and | | | | that you once did, but your spouse should be your go |
| that it's not realistic to expect for the passion to last | | | | to person with whom you want to share and discuss |
| forever. But most of the time, that nagging little voice in | | | | things. If this isn't happening, take notice. |
| the back of your mind that is telling you that something | | | | What To Do About Your Talking Much Less: Like with |
| is wrong won't really be quiet. Even though you may | | | | many things that have to do with strengthening your |
| try to shush your worries, you find yourself noticing the | | | | relationship, you will often have to make this a high |
| little things that point to big problems. | | | | priority and to schedule a time for it. Try to check in |
| Many times, people will email me and ask me if certain | | | | with each other at least every couple of days. Set |
| things are signs of a marriage being in trouble. So, in | | | | aside some time when you will not be interrupted or |
| the following article, I'm going to list what I think are the | | | | rushed. This might feel awkward at first, but the more |
| three biggest indicators that your marriage might be in | | | | you do it, the more natural it will feel and the more |
| serious jeopardy and I will also tell you what to do | | | | relief and closeness it will bring. |
| about these things. | | | | Warning Sign Number Three: You're Spending Less |
| Sign Number One: The Intimacy Is Just Not There: | | | | And Less Time Together (And May Be Telling |
| Admittedly, when you have a house, kids, and parents | | | | Yourself That You Have Legitimate Reasons For It:) |
| to take care of, it's unrealistic to think that you and | | | | You might have noticed that you are both spending |
| your spouse should still be all over each other in the | | | | less and less time at home and more and more time |
| way that you were in the beginning. But, there still | | | | at work or with your friends. Often, you will tell yourself |
| should be that closeness and that electricity when you | | | | that you have these obligations that just can't be |
| are together. Even if you're not being intimate as much | | | | helped. The truth is, many of us don't want to face the |
| as you might like, you should still see the loving | | | | fact that we are drifting apart and therefore will make |
| gestures like the hand holding, the hugs, and the back | | | | all sorts of excuses to distance ourselves from the |
| rubs. | | | | relationship and from the awkward silence of our |
| All of us are short on time and attention these days, | | | | home. This is probably the biggest warning sign that |
| but when you love someone and the relationship is | | | | there is because the next step is often waking up in |
| one of your top priorities, you will often find a way to | | | | the morning and seeing a stranger sleeping beside you. |
| discover some hidden time. In short, you will make time | | | | What To Do About Spending Less Time Together: |
| for what is your highest priority. | | | | Hoping that this will get better and just work itself out is |
| What To Do About This Lessening Intimacy: The old | | | | probably the worst thing that you can do. Once the |
| date night suggestion sounds cliche and it may not | | | | drift happens, it will often accelerate and get worse. |
| even be possible if you have small children or a | | | | You can't just ignore the problem. You have to take |
| budget. But nothing says that you can't set aside time | | | | swift and decisive action. Again, this requires shifting |
| to be together at home without sacrificing much time | | | | your attention and your priorities. People often tell me |
| or money. You can take a walk, watch the stars, or | | | | that when they try to force more time together, they |
| pour a glass of wine and talk. It really doesn't matter | | | | ultimately become frustrated because it feels fake and |
| what you do as long as the two of you relax, talk, and | | | | awkward. They will tell themselves that they've just |
| connect on a regular basis. | | | | drifted apart and that there is not much that can be |
| Sign Number Two: Short Or Nonexistent | | | | done about this. |
| Conversations: Honestly, people will typically worry the | | | | Well, you just have to keep trying and to work through |
| most if they notice changes in the bedroom. But, | | | | the awkwardness. You have to chose your activities |
| changes in conversations are just as troubling. When | | | | well so that they will be somewhat lighthearted, fun, |
| your spouse is sharing their hopes, dreams, and fears | | | | and low in pressure. And you have to ask yourself |
| with someone other than you, that's a serious problem. | | | | would you rather put up with a little awkwardness now |
| When your unloading on your friends rather than your | | | | or would you rather potentially have a failing marriage |
| spouse, this is a danger sign. | | | | later? The sooner you try to begin working on things, |
| Think about how you and your spouse used to talk for | | | | the greater the chance of success. |
| hours when you were dating and ask yourself if things | | | | |