| A relationship is made of two people, better said of | | | | that may be offensive should be left out of an |
| two individuals, with their own points of view, set of | | | | argument. Once said, they paint a picture in |
| values, and personalities. When two people decide to | | | | someone's mind and heart. Take a break or time out |
| marry or live together, it is no surprise that they may | | | | if needed, and agree to return to the argument in a |
| encounter many rough spots and new territory that is | | | | rational way. If you have agreed to disagreed, this |
| shaky. For some the adjustment is faster than for | | | | should not be impossible to do. |
| others, but whatever the case may be, there is no | | | | In shaky territory there is always on stable spot, so |
| doubt that arguments or disagreements will happen. | | | | when everything else is failing, and an understanding is |
| So, how do we keep the peace? After all, we want | | | | not in the horizon, try to find some common ground. |
| to live together for a reason. There are certain rules | | | | In what sense do your arguments seem alike? Can |
| that apply to an argument. An argument or | | | | there be a compromise? Is there enough room for a |
| disagreement does not necessarily have to evolve into | | | | change of heart? Is there one thing that you both |
| a fight. | | | | agree with about the argument? Use that issue as a |
| Realize that it is unnatural not to disagree. For that to | | | | grounding mechanism. Let us say that you want your |
| happen, you would have to share the same brain or at | | | | kid to have Karate classes, and your husband |
| least be clones. Therefore, disagreements are a | | | | disagrees mostly because of financial reasons. Your |
| normal occurrence. There are the result of different | | | | kid wants the lessons too. Maybe, your kid can set |
| point of views, and not necessarily contradicting, just | | | | aside part of his allowance, and you can take on a |
| different. Once you agree to disagree – pardon | | | | few odd jobs here and there or sell something you do |
| the cliché, but it is an easy way to put it – it will | | | | not use or need to make two thirds of the money. |
| be easier to look at the argument in a more mature | | | | Let your husband come up with an idea for the last |
| and objective way. | | | | third. If financially, you know that this is going to make |
| Try to see where each point of view is coming from | | | | a big dent in your budget, then you should come up |
| or to use another cliché – wear each other's | | | | with another alternative, such as getting karate videos |
| shoes. This will give you a better picture of the other | | | | and books from the library, you and your husband can |
| person's reasons. Is it a rational point of view? Are | | | | spend time practicing with your kid, and maybe agree |
| there any points that can be discussed in relation and | | | | to pay for 1 or 2 lessons. There are many sides to |
| merit a second look? Why is she/he so passionate | | | | this argument, and as many solutions as you want to |
| about this? Try to find the value to the other | | | | find. Therefore, finding common ground (in this case |
| person. When you defend a point, there is always a | | | | you both agree it will hurt the budget) should open |
| connection directly with you (what's in it for me?). | | | | room for many solutions. |
| When addressing each other, do not raise the tone of | | | | Follow these rules to handle an argument, and you |
| voice as this proves contra productive, and closes the | | | | should be able to find a happy medium. |
| other to listening to your points. Gestures or words | | | | |