| If you are a recently divorced non-custodial parent, you | | | | visit you. Spend all your time with them, and prioritise |
| might be finding no avenues for expressing your love | | | | their activities over yours. |
| to your children, for even daily communication with | | | | Celebrate each visit of your children. Go out on treats |
| your children (which you had taken for granted in the | | | | and regale them with stories of their childhood. They |
| past) might prove difficult. Whatever be the difficulties | | | | will simply love it. I feel that meal times and bedtimes |
| posed, never let communication levels drop. Keep in | | | | are the two routines that firmly bond a parent with the |
| regular touch with your children, wherever they may | | | | child. Even after many years, they vividly remember |
| be. | | | | these as special times. |
| Did you know that by talking to your children, you are | | | | At bedtime, discuss the funny or good occurrences of |
| communicating much more than mere words? By | | | | the day. Once you open up the communication |
| speaking to them, you reveal that they are valuable to | | | | channels with your children, they will feel free to |
| you. This boosts their self-esteem. Apart from that, | | | | express their emotions. They might even speak to you |
| you are also gifting them the mode of proper | | | | of their unresolved fears or the seemingly trivial |
| communication, for life. Keep regular track of their | | | | matters that are significant to them. Give them |
| activities; otherwise physical distance might translate to | | | | practical tips on handling real life situations. They will |
| emotional separation. | | | | cherish such practical advice. |
| Let Not the Physical Distance Turn Emotional | | | | However, maintaining contact with the children after |
| | | | the divorce may not be easy always. Plenty of |
| Avoid the common mistake most parents make: | | | | practical difficulties emerge; resolve these problems |
| · That of equating divorcing the partner with | | | | before they assume gigantic proportions. |
| divorcing the children | | | | Overcoming Barriers (That Diminish Emotional Bonding) |
| · Or making the mistake of communicating | | | | |
| through the children and not with them | | | | Your children are special to you; you love them dearly; |
| After divorce, you would have realised that it does not | | | | express it. Parental love is best when expressed. |
| terminate contact with your ex-spouse (communication | | | | Communication with the children is most important in |
| with ex-partner continues lifelong). You may dislike all | | | | life, and this becomes extremely difficult after the |
| forms of conversation, for the unresolved anger and | | | | divorce. Keep in regular contact with them by chatting |
| hurt prove preventive, and you might feel sending | | | | with them online. I prefer this medium over telephonic |
| messages through children more convenient. Never do | | | | conversations, for it enables the usage of a web |
| this. | | | | camera and the interaction can be made more |
| 90% of communication is non-verbal. Children can | | | | interpersonal. |
| easily decipher the depth of the negative emotions you | | | | Let them understand that they are important to you. |
| harbour and get trapped in a situation of divided | | | | Reveal it in small acts, like remembering to pick them |
| loyalties. This prevents them from expressing their love | | | | up on time for their scheduled visits. By going late or by |
| for either parent. The atmosphere turns hostile and | | | | forgetting, you are communicating that they no longer |
| unhealthy. Love can hardly blossom in such a situation. | | | | matter to you. Your thoughtless gestures might |
| Prevent development of emotional barriers by forming | | | | inadvertently damage them for life. |
| a civilly polite relationship with your ex-marital mate. | | | | Surveys that studied the contact between |
| With the development of cordial relationships, children | | | | non-custodial parents and their children have proved |
| will find it easier to communicate and spend time with | | | | that no matter what the difficulties are, majority of the |
| you. Utilise the time they spend with you to strengthen | | | | women rarely give up contact with their children, while |
| emotional links, otherwise your family might just drift | | | | fathers are quick to submit to tribulations. Do not allow |
| away from you. | | | | difficulties to prove insurmountable barriers. As a |
| Prevent the Drifting Away of Children in the Flow of | | | | non-custodial parent, you are duty-bound to give your |
| Time | | | | children what you had longed for all through your life - |
| | | | love and happiness. |
| Show how much you love your children when they | | | | |