| Marriage is about a commitment for life. Why else | | | | Marriage is fifty - fifty. How many times have you |
| would anyone enter into it? It is the toughest | | | | heard that? You may think it is a far cry from that but |
| commitment any person will ever make in his lifetime | | | | if you stand back and see the full picture, you will see |
| and making a marriage work, taking it the distance, is | | | | how it is true. |
| the hardest work you will ever do. | | | | The times you are down, your mate is more likely than |
| That doesn't sound so great does it? Yet it is. | | | | not there to pull you up without even knowing it. The |
| That which is worth the most takes the hardest work | | | | times he/ she is down, you are standing upright. You |
| to accomplish and nothing is worth more than a solid | | | | may not realize that even, in the midst of a hard time, |
| marriage and all which that encompasses. | | | | but in hind sight you will see that is true. Fifty - fifty. |
| When the first flush of love grabs hold, true love felt | | | | In the middle of all of this life happening there are all the |
| within the heart and soul, body and mind, nothing | | | | light happy times that seem to be overshadowed and |
| seems impossible and nothing is, where that love is | | | | forgotten when the hard times hit, for we like to feel |
| concerned. The first flush is what causes us to step in. | | | | sorry for ourselves and hang onto all those negative |
| The honeymoon ends then time and life happens | | | | feelings. We want to "get back at", cause the same |
| which can wreak all kinds of havoc to a marriage. | | | | hurt, the same anguish. It is hard to let go of that but |
| Careers happen. Perhaps children happen, a mortgage, | | | | how much easier it is to do after we have done it |
| or a bigger mortgage with a bigger house... bills, bills, bills. | | | | once, to stand back from those destructive feelings |
| Demands on time happens. The days don't have | | | | and forgive. |
| enough hours in them. The years slip by. | | | | Don't let those negative feelings overshadow all the |
| Maybe careers grow ... more demands. Maybe they | | | | good times. Those are the times when you need to |
| falter... stress. Babies cry, then grow... demanding more | | | | remember those happy times more than ever. Those |
| and more time. Stress. | | | | memories will pull you through.. helping you to again look |
| Nerves are tested. Maybe some break. | | | | to the complete human in that body of that person you |
| What seems to be a drifting apart may naturally | | | | married. |
| happen during these busy years, but if that love that | | | | None of us are immune to anything, remember that. |
| caused you to step in was real, it is there. It doesn't go | | | | Anything can happen to any of us. We are tested |
| away. The trick is to remember that and trust it | | | | everyday of our lives with something adverse, even if |
| enough to make yourself vulnerable enough to be | | | | it is just in thought. |
| honest enough to always stay open to your mate. | | | | Remember why you got married. |
| There is nothing more valuable than honesty in | | | | Remember the commitment you made. |
| marriage, whether it be about feelings... something that | | | | Remember your mate is as human as you are. |
| irritates you or makes you just plain angry or sad or | | | | Patience. Find it. It is in you. |
| forlorn or happy.... or something so huge and ugly you | | | | Forgiveness. We all need it. None of us is better than |
| don't dare tell anyone, or a dream so outrageously | | | | the next and who would you want to forgive more |
| extravagant it is embarrassing. Don't hide any of it. | | | | than your spouse? |
| Trust that love. If it was real then it is now and the | | | | We all want the "ideal". There is no such thing. In |
| more you trust it the greater it will grow and you will | | | | marriage, there are two people committed to each |
| find a friend in your mate that you never would have | | | | other for life whom are two individuals who need to be |
| imagined could exist ... in time. | | | | who they are and need to be allowed to be who they |
| A true marriage is a test of patience and forgiveness, | | | | are. |
| two qualities most all of us have trouble with.. especially | | | | Don't give in to the hard times. Plow through them. With |
| patience in times of stress, followed immediately in | | | | each battle won you will have found deeper respect |
| rank by forgiveness. How much easier it seems to be | | | | for each other. The love you had for each other so |
| to hang onto those feelings of anger or hurt or | | | | long ago which caused you to make that committed |
| sadness or revenge or arrogance when our mate | | | | step will have grown to a depth that becomes the |
| does something that seems so completely insane or | | | | truest friendship on earth. |
| unreasonable... than to step back from all those | | | | No matter what you have to weather in your |
| emotions and know that he/she too is human with | | | | marriage, that friendship you will have gained in the long |
| human faults and weaknesses .. a human who needs | | | | term will be worth every moment. |
| in those times of unsettled behavior that friend more | | | | You will step out into air that is as clear and light as |
| than ever.. that friend which is you. | | | | any you will ever hope to breathe and you will know |
| You also need to be patient with yourself.. and learn to | | | | you have made it, for better or for worse, two human |
| forgive yourself. We do and say things impulsively in | | | | beings whose differences have come to balance |
| the heat of passion. Be patient as you work to control | | | | each other like magic, with a respect for each other |
| that . All those things we say out of the emotion of the | | | | that words cannot define, committed to each other for |
| moment and don't really mean can haunt us for a long | | | | life. |
| time. Say you are sorry, accept the apology, know | | | | It is the most rewarding commitment you can ever |
| you have been forgiven, then work to forgive yourself. | | | | hope to make. |